My break from dA is kinda over now, but I'm generally just lurking for right now.
First, I want to apologize to everyone for just up & leaving like I did. And for worrying quite a few of you. I just had to leave for a little while. A lot of shit happened and I was hurt very badly. My heart was torn. I felt utterly crushed, betrayed, and pretty much worthless. I was in a very dark place for a while and quite honestly...I just didn't know what was going to happen to me.
Things are still very hard for me, but as of today I am dealing with it a lot better than I have the past several days. I basically just want to leave it behind me already, I'm so very sick of feeling that way and crying so, so much. My eyes are sore and my body won't stop aching. It will take a lot of time for me to heal and move on, but the point is that I am making the effort to move forward.
Nothing can fix what was done...but I want to say how very grateful I am that things did not happen for the absolute worst. I don't know what would have happened if things went differently. I am so very happy for this friendship, it means the entire world to me. I've had a handful of best friends in my life, but none of them is quite like this one and I want to treasure it forever. I'm so tired of ruining things and I do not want to ruin the thing that means the most to me.
So...second, I will slowly get back into things back here. I have been attempting this so much the past few months, but this time I feel things are right. It seems no matter how low things get for me and no matter how much time I take away from here, this place will always be special to me and draw me back time and again. I only hope that I don't ever have to take a break like this one ever again. I t will take time for me to get back into the swing of things once again.
And...I want to thank you guys for your support, concerns, and general love you gave me when I was at my lowest. It means a lot to me, it really does.